I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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