i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Randomize
