He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize