I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize