Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
