hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
