If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
