I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm always down for nudity.
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