That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's shark week go big or go home
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
