I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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