.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
