I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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