Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
