Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
