Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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