Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
she was so not down for the gang bang
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
