Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
