Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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