No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
