I just made out with a guy for $7.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
