paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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