she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm jealous of your bromance
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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