I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
