it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Screwed.edu
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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