only if we run a train.
done.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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