mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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