My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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