Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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