i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
