this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize