apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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