don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
