obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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