It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
