I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
