How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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