ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
