Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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