he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
