guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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