Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
