Fuck appropriateness.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
