Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
