# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
