Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
