We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
