Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
