somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Dear god my vagina.
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