This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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