But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
