This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize