maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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