Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
