making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I wear drunk well.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
