After last night, I could never be a politician.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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