you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
